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October 28, 2004

much ado about water

Kenneth Branagh asked me once, 'Do you have any still water?'

I almost responded: 'Yes, but it's been sitting in this old tire all summer.'

Then I realised that what he wanted was non-carbonated water. As opposed to carbonated water.

So I handed him a tiny bottle of Evian. 'Here you are, sir.' And he was off.

Why I thought of this now, many years later, is beyond me. For the curious, I was working the bar in the Green Room of Roy Thomson Hall during the Toronto International Film Festival. I've forgotton what year it was.

October 26, 2004

maintenance operation

photos.magnetonic.org is officially broken.

Please use http://www.magnetonic.org/gallery from now.

That is, if you cared.

life-altering decisions, part the first

I've recently become aware, even more so than before, more salient, that my life, in the next two to three years, is going to change a very great deal. Is this it? For years, I've been drifting. It sounds stupid and trite, but it's true. What am I still doing in Korea? Why did I come?

I've got some answers.

Why did I come? I came to experience Korean life, learn the language, try to make some money, and besides, what else was there to do? I had planned to apply to teacher's college. I did and was rejected. In defense, I didn't make a really serious effort at it. I applied to only one school, and OISE/UT at that.

What am I still doing in Korea? Well, you know the answer to that. Her name is Jackie. But more than that, it's easy here. Life that is. Or is it avoiding capital-ell-life? My job here pays me well. I work on the side and it pays even better. I've got an apartment. Utilities, food, beer, movies, videos, internet, TV, phones, transportation... they're all cheap. And I can pretend that I'll live like this for the rest of my life.

Except for one thing. Marriage.

I'm not married yet. However, I am engaged. I've bought the ring. I've given it to her. I didn't get down on one knee, but I did make a fake CD case. I was just me before. Now I'm gonna be a husband, a son-in-law, a brother-in-law, all in one swell foop [sic]. I'm representing my family. I've got to grow-up, basically.

We went shopping on Saturday and Jackie didn't want me to buy clothes that looked too casual or raggedy. She said, Get something that looks more professional. I scoffed. I've got clothes for when I need to exude professional. They're not comfortable. Nor are they necessary when talking at children in English when all they want to do is get a good mark on some test so that they can get into a good high school. (I bought the 'raggedy' clothes anyway; after she had went and gone and bought a whole bunch of stuff, I felt the urge to buy stuff.) But clothes is just one aspect of it.

I need a job. And to get a job I need an education. If anyone who is reading this that wants to hire a guy with a few years of experience teaching English as a foreign language to elementary school kids, a year or so in technical field service, five years in the food and beverage service industry, five years in custom framing and retail, a year or so in a supermarket, two days selling ice cream on one of those tricycles in the park, and last but not least, an Honours Bachelor's Degree in Physics, please, please, please, drop me a line. I'll be available sometime in 2006. I've been rejected also from seven law schools. That didn't stroke the ego. I'll be making a serious attempt at teacher's college again. Cross your fingers.

I asked earlier, Is this it? Is this the culmination of all my years of work, rest, and play and consumption of Mars bars? Is this what everyone looks for? The reason? Will the decisions that I make in the next two to three years affect the rest of my life? We'll see. Because...

...there's one thing I haven't mentioned yet, besides marriage & family, besides education & career, besides fashion & appearance...

...I won't say just yet what it is, but I will say that it seems that my life is poised to change yet again...

If you're sufficiently curious, then my work is done.

More on this later.

October 22, 2004

divide and conquer

It's taken me about two to three hours to do this pretty much useless thing. See on the right there? There's a new thing that I've called Divisions. Categories. Sections. Whathaveyou. Anyway, it's just a way of organising the content of this crazy website.

You'll see that grind is just the everyday stuff. Actually that and anything else that didn't fit into the narrower divisions, such as technology, which is about just that. Site modifications, such as this, or rants about technology. The last category is called ruminations, and they are just that. Observations. Things I've thought about for perhaps too long, or not long enough, or that you should, too, think about.

Think about this: some posts will be in two or more categories. Wrap your mind around that.

Oh, and I'll add, subtract, multiply and further divide magnetonic into more and/or less categories as the need arises. For example, I'm not really happy with the gallery stuff (which, as I see now, is currently broken again), so I may just create on a whim a new category. Look at me. I'm wild and untamed tonite.

October 15, 2004

truly wonderful opulence

I think that everyone, no matter how little money you think you have, should experience the comfort service luxury of a seven-star hotel. Now, I don't know that there is even such a grade of hotel, but it sure feels like it when everything you could want or need is there for you.

I recently stayed at the brand new W Seoul Walkerhill hotel. It's in Seoul, obviously, attached to the more traditional and well-known Sheraton-Grande Walkerhill hotel.

I'll dispense with the cab ride there and other such anecdotes.

The entrance has a giant, and I mean giant, revolving door to let you and all your stuff inside. The first thing you see is a lounge. It's all very sleek and modern. There's a circular sofa that surrounds a number of small round tables. A multi-leveled area has more sofas that you sink into with side tables and computer screens, and there are some booths as well. On the left side there is the self-proclaimed 'longest bar in Seoul'. At the end, there is a shiny metallic pod-like DJ booth.

The check-in counter is nowhere to be seen as it melds right into the lounge. There are only two lowly workers at the desk. Check-in is swift and efficient. I'm handed a cardkey and we're off. Before we leave the lounge, called the Living Room, I must mention the art piece that is on the wall in the lobby area.

It's made up of smooth, wooden squares which are mounted in the rear to devices that allow them to swivel just ever so slightly back and forth on a horizontal axis originating at their centres. Think of the old-school Wheel of Fortune letters, but horizontal. There are hundreds of squares forming a wide rectangle. The pieces are top-lit by a number of spotlights. Now, I said they're smooth, but they're also just a little bit shiny, so that depending on what angle a piece is stationed, it reflects a little or a lot of light. So some squares are 'white' (angled upwards), some 'black' (angled downwards), and some different shades of 'grey' (take a guess). The swivelling devices make wooden clicking noises, like Scrabble pieces in the bag when you are digging for that much needed U. Mind you the swivelling squares do not touch each other, so I'm not sure about the authenticity of the sounds. At first glance, the art piece seems to be a random bunch of squares that make clicking noises as they swivel back and forth. It looks alive. In fact it is. Somewhere in the midst of those wooden squares is a camera. This camera feeds its signal to the computer that must be controlling the swivellers. As people walk by, the wooden 'pixels' display the video image in slightly-delayed real-time. It's actually very, very cool.

The elevator is very dark. There are video screens showing the available services throughout the hotel. Hanging from the ceiling are illuminated rings, like gymnastics rings, but many more, and of varying lengths and positions. Each elevator has different colours of rings.

Our room was on the eleventh floor. The elevator lobby has a tall rectangular video screen greeting you with what looks like a screensaver or visualisation that would accompany your computer's audio software. However, it too, has a camera and the images displayed are affected and morphed depending on your motions.

The hallways were lined with thick, soft carpet, with circular patches of taller, thicker pile, graduated in size and set at distances apart from each other along the wall. The lighting, though I can't recall it, was very well done. At the end of the hallway was a giant ball of basically Christmas lights.

As we opened the heavy door, soft music greeted us. A first look inside reveals little. There are sheer white floor-to-ceiling curtains straight down the length of the room. On the right is the adjoining room door, a closet with frosted glass doors which has a sensor that turns on the interior light when you open the door, and houses an iron and ironing board and two amazing white cotton robes.

To the left is the bathroom which has two frosted glass cubicles, the left one a toilet and the right a shower (where the water simply falls out of the ceiling from an oversized shower head), a double-sided mirror held up by cables, Aveda bath products (which we stole, of course), a rectangular sink, speaker connections to the radio and TV, a bathtub, and a bathtoy, all enclosed in glass. There is a retractable screen which can come down beside the bathtub, blocking the view to the bed. The light switch confused me because it was mounted to a glass wall with no visible wires.

To the right, a little farther along, was the minibar and snack and beverage station. Some really nice coffee and teas were setup there. I forgot to take some tea.

Even farther, there's a bench seat with throw pillows, a 29-inch TV, a Bose radio/CD player (which was the source of the music), and a desk with standard hotel stationary and such. I forgot to steal the really cool metal paperclips in the shapes of Ws.

At the end of the curtained 'hallway' are two white leather pod-like swivel lounge chairs and a table. The three sit on the most comfortable rug I have ever laid my tired bare feet on. Oh, and a view of the mountains.

And last, but not least, there is a king-size bed (I thought I had reserved the round bed, but alas) with a padded mattress, 300-thread count sheets, a red duvet, and four king-size feather pillows, all atop a platform that is lit all around the edges and up the walls to the ceiling. In the drawer under the TV was yet another red pillow and a faux fur blanket which was oh-so-soft.

Everything is remote controlled, from the lights, to the radio, to the DVD player, to the curtains. Oh, didn't I mention the DVD player and library of free DVDs (and CDs) that are available with a simple phone call?

Due to uncontrollable circumstances, we were not able to check in at the earliest time possible, which was a shame, considering how much fun it was just to lounge in the room.

And how much it was.

Breakfast is another story. Full buffet. And I mean full. They've got fresh juices, fresh fruits, dried fruits, cereals, yogurts, breads, jams, pastries, sausages, potatoes, eggs, bacon, eggs wrapped in bacon, mushrooms, polenta, salmon, chicken, noodles, coffee, and yes, champagne. And all of it is gourmet. I mean all.

The moral: Yes, it cost me way more that I can reasonably afford, but you have to indulge yourself once in a while. It probaly cost about CA$500, but for one day, you have everything you need, and anything that you don't need but want is a phone call away. It was definitely worth it. Take that opportunity when it presents itself. You won't regret it.

October 13, 2004

big trouble in little china

My site is behaving erratically.

You don't know. But I do.

October 12, 2004

turkey, anyone?

So I'm trying to get this volunteer job at an international high school (read: a school that's conducted in English). However, they only hire Christians. I'm not a practising Christian. I thought it best not to lie.

Good news is, they don't mind me there because I'm just volunteering. I need the experience to better my teacher's college application.

Now, understandably, they need proof of my graduating from university and all. An official transcript's CA$10. That's easy.

They also want a police background check. That's not.

One way of doing it is to get my fingerprints taken and sent to the RCMP who will provide me with a criminal record check. Thing is, they're gonna come up blank because I've never had my fingerprints taken in Canada. Oh, and, I'm not a criminal!

Also it take upwards of 150 days. I'm not waiting half a year to get a volunteer job. Besides, my application would be due in December and I wouldn't have even started to work by then.

Another way is to show up in person to the Metro Toronto Police and they'd give me a clearance letter saying that I don't have anything on my record. That's a little hard when you're thousands of kilometres away.

There's some other random form on the RCMP website that's akin to the clearance letter, but there are no real instructions on how to use it or where to send it.

After about an hour trying to find the best way to go, I decided I'd try calling the Canadian embassy. Of course it's Thanksgiving and they're closed today.

I miss Thanksgiving.

October 7, 2004

strange, but strange

There's this book that Jackie's reading. It's called "내손이 약손이다", which roughly translates as Healing Hands (literal translation is silly: My hands are medicine hands). Anyway, it's a book about reflexology/zone therapy, which basically theorises that parts of your hands and feet are connected to the other parts of your body. By massaging you hand in the right place, you can get rid of pain elsewhere in your body.

It works well, so far, but the strange, but strange thing is the following.

It's called the O-ring test. And here is how you do it.

  1. Place your left hand on a part of your body that you think is unfit, i.e. your knee, or stomach. Alternatively, hold something that you may ingest in your left hand, i.e. an apple, or a cigarette.
  2. Now take your right thumb and forefinger and hold the tips together to make an O. Hold on as tight as you possibly can.
  3. Get a friend. This is left as an exercise to the reader.
  4. Your friend should be about as strong as you. Your friend must try and pry your O-ring fingers apart, using thier thumbs and forefingers only.
  5. Here's where it gets strange, but strange. If the part of your body is not well, i.e. sore or sick, your O-ring will come apart. If the thing you are holding is bad for your health, i.e. a cigarette or a bottle of vodka, your O-ring will come apart. But if that part of your body is healthy, or the thing you are holding is good for your health, then your O-ring will stay intact.
  6. Just remember to hold your O-ring as tight as you possibly can. And friends, if you are too strong or too weak, this may not work out well.

I tried it on my nose, and my O-ring fell apart. My nose has been runny, stuffed, dry, and clear all at once and all day for the last week or so. It works with a cigarette.

Try it, and you'll be surprised.

Okay, I just did a search, and you can look at more detailed information here.

October 4, 2004

i'm turning chinese, part 2

I picked up a book yesterday that is (hopefully) going to teach me how to read and write Chinese characters, which in the book in question, are actually called Korean characters, or 漢字(한자).

It's very cool because it shows you the character in a standard print typeface, such as 七, then tells you the meaning in Korean, in this example, 일곱, the meaning in English, seven, and the pronunciation in Korean, 칠. It also shows you how to write it and the radical (for those who know what a radical is).

This book contains 1800 characters, sometimes called the Basic Characters. These are the ones taught in middle and high schools in Korea.

I had alreadly picked up a few characters here and there, but I got this book so that I could at least make an attempt to learn some more. Something like 60% of Korean vocabulary is from Chinese, so this endeavour may be very useful.

Here are the first 10 characters that I'm studying: 一, 乙, 丁, 七, 乃, 九, 了, 二, 人, 入.

Just 1790 more to go.

decent proposal

Despite this previous declaration, I announce today my engagement in the light of the traditional diamond solitaire engagement ring that I gave to my fiancée.

I will not divulge how much it was, but I will give esoteric diamond information. Its carat weight is 0.36. Its colour is F. Its clarity is VVS1. Its cutting is Good.

It's set in an 18 carat white gold ring, in a very simple design.

Now that there is she has a ring, I feel more like we're engaged. However, this is not usually done in Korea, so I'm not sure exactly how she feels.

Oh, I presented it to her as a birthday present in a CD jewel case with false covers. I made it seem as though I had no money and that all I could afford was to make a custom-made mixed CD. The cover had a picture of me in my long black wig with the words "Rock'n'Roll" above my head. The back cover had a marketing photo of Jack Black and the kids from School of Rock and a fake tracklist.

The inside had a cheesy picture of a heart-shaped box full of roses, and this image lay beneath where the CD would normally rest. The ring was too thick; the case could not close properly. So I cut out the circular area where the little teeth hold onto the the inner circle of a CD. I placed the ring there and voilà, everything was good. Except that the ring would fall out if she didn't open the case while holding it horizontally. So I got a square piece of a clear plastic envelope and placed the ring under it, with the inner part of the jewel case over the plastic. Since there is a circular hole, the ring was now safe from moving about but accessible.

The sides of the CD simply said "Will You Marry Me". Unfortunately, the cover was a one-off copy I made in Illustrator and didn't save (for secrecy purposes) and so I can't actually show it to you. I guess I should have taken a picture of the whole ordeal, but I was constrained by time.

There was, of course, no CD. When she opened it she was expecting to find a one-of-a-kind mixed CD by me (which, by the way, she was perfectly happy with as a birthday present—isn't she the best?), but upon not seeing a CD, she became a little confused. It was dark in the bar and she didn't notice the ring right away. A second later she saw it and I showed her the side of the CD. I pulled the ring out and prayed that it would fit on her finger. It did. It does. Perfectly.

The words "Will you marry me?" never actually escaped my lips, but then she asked, "Do I have to answer?" Remembering that I hadn't actually asked her to marry me, I understood her position. I told her she had to answer, and yes, she did say "yes".

October 1, 2004

there's a hole in my pocket, dear liza, dear liza

Do you ever get that feeling, when you have a large sum of cash in your immediate possession, like you must go out and buy something? Cash in the bank, credit cards, loans, lines of credit, GICs, RSPs, RRSPs, stocks, cheques, money orders, Canadian Tire money, any other financial products—they don't compare to a handful of cold, hard cash.

I have in my immediate possession ₩2,205,000, or just about CA$2500. I could buy any number of things with this amount of cash.

I could buy a brand spanking new iMac. I've had my eye on this ever since it was announced. And goshdarnit, I'm gonna buy one.

I could buy 2,205 lines of 김밥 (gimbap; tasty things wrapped in rice and seaweed, like a sushi roll).

I could buy a used car.

I could buy a bottle of 소주 (soju; a rice-based liquor, which is readily available anywhere for just over a dollar a bottle) for every child, woman and man in Daejeon.

I could buy a lot of things...

...but not with this money. This money is in fact my salary. A good portion of it has to cover my rent, cellphone, gas, building maintenance fee, and internet. Another chunk has to go into a savings account that requires a set deposit every month. Another chunk has to go home to Canada to pay off my student loans and credit cards. I'll be left with nary a won to even buy a larger hard drive for my poor Xbox.

Oh, and since the largest denomination of Korean cash is 10,000, I've got over 200 individual bills to count. (Think of carying around $2200 in tens.)

I'm finding it difficult to end this post.

a petition for the redefining of "weekend"

It's late Thursday, technically Friday morning. I'm coming off a five-day weekend. I've decided that I prefer five-day weekends to five-day work-weeks.

There is a lunar holiday here in Korea. It's called 추석 (Chuseok), and it lands on the 15th day of the 8th month of the lunar calendar used here in Korea (the same used in China and elsewhere). It's a full moon holiday, something about the harvest. Shows how much I know about Korean holidays. Actually, it's a national holiday here and they throw in a bonus: the two days immediately preceding and following the day of the full moon, which is great, as long as the date lands on Tuesday or Thursday. This year, it landed on a Tuesday.

I vegged on Saturday and most of Sunday. The latter night we went to the zoo. Not to that crappy bar here in Daejeon, but the real zoo. Where there are animals. There was a sort of sad safari tour which cost ₩9,000 where you rode in a bus that was decorated like a lion and it drove through sets of double gates to see some lions, tigers, and bears, oh my!, elephants, giraffes, zebras, ostriches, some horned animal (it was named in Korean, so I don't know the English name), and of all things, a donkey, which the driver/tour guide felt necessary to mention was the same animal that was in Shrek.

The rest of the zoo was okay. There were more lions, some monkeys, jaguars, tigers, polar bears, black bears, otters, seals, wolves, llamas, camels (one-humped and two), hyenas, birds, a Saint-Bernard (beats me), a baby lion (very cute), and a kind of raccoon. Lacking were gorillas, orangutans, chimpanzees (no apes of any kind!), turtles, snakes (no reptiles of any kind!), penguins, peacocks (no fancy birds of any kind!), frogs, newts, and salamanders (no amphibians of any kind!). In fact, there were no indoor exhibits of any kind!

Monday afternoon I went to Seoul to meet a friend, Steve, who I'd worked with at my previous place of employment. We had dinner and did some bar-hopping around 홍대 (Hong Dae; a district in Seoul near Hong Ik University). Imbibing of mostly beer ensued.

Tuesday morning my uncle woke me up far too early in the morning and took my cousin from Washington, D.C., and me to a bunch of places in Seoul. Since it was a holiday, the regular congestion of Seoul's streets was none to be found. In fact, as we drove along one bridge that crosses the Han River, I distinctly recall there being something like 8 cars in total on the bridge, with no cars even going in the opposite direction. That evening the Korean residents of the Noh family met for the traditional Chuseok gathering. Lots of food. Lots of people. I came back to Daejeon with my American cousin that night.

Wednesday I vegged. I topped off the night with a brisk walk and dinner and a painful stomach ache that went away after a couple of hours, some TLC, a hot towel, some peppermint tea, and four little pills.

So waking up today felt a lot like Monday, but I was glad to remember that in fact it was Thursday and that I only had three classes today and that tomorrow would be Friday and that the weekend is already here.

In fact, Jackie's birthday is on Sunday. I've yet to get a present. I guess that should be my priority this morning.